Better a day in Your courts than a thousand anywhere else. I would rather be at the door of the house of my God than to live in the tents of wicked people. For the Lord God is a sun and shield. The Lord gives grace and glory; He does not withhold the good from those who live with integrity.
Psalm 84:10-11
Last night I was sitting on our couch and I found myself near tears because God gave me a fresh perspective on the season I’ve been in. I allowed myself to believe He was trying to keep me from good when in actuality He was shielding me for my own development.
For people who may not know my story my husband and I have experienced a great deal of testing in our finances since I gave birth to our first child in 2017. Many days went by when we wondered how a bill would be paid. While God came through every time it still was a tough time day after day.
I can’t tell you how many prophetic words we got. Each one promising that God was going to pour out a financial blessing so large our would not have room enough to receive. We would be blessed, they said so that we could be a blessing. However, when your reality varies so greatly from what you see, it’s easy to give in to hopelessness.
Deep down in my heart I started to question if God really is as good as He says. Was He going to come through? Would He be faithful to fulfill His promises? I suppose somewhere along the line I allowed myself to believe that because I’m a child of God He would shield me from every bad thing. But His word says He disciplines the one He loves and chastises the one He calls His own. (Hebrews 12:6). In the very next verse it says we should endure suffering as a discipline and that if we are without discipline we are illegitimate children.
Even as a child, I was not exempt from punishment so why would I believe I could be disciplined by my Earthly parents but not my Father in heaven?
Job said it best when he asked his wife “Shall we accept good from God and not the bad?”(Job 2:10) We don’t get to cherry-pick our Christian journey. We don’t know what tests God will send our way, but if we choose to be all in we can endure the suffering as discipline. The beautiful part is when we reach the other side of our tests and trials. Oh how sweet it is because finally, we get to see, the pain we endured for so long was not meant to crush us, it was made to strengthen us from within.
As I look back on all the tears I’ve cried for the past three years, I’m comforted in knowing God kept track of each one (Psalm 56:8). His word says those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy (Psalm 126:5) and that’s what I’ve chosen to believe. I have seen the truth of God’s word manifest in my life in ways I was not expecting.
God is a good Father and He delights to give good things to His children. As such, He understands the right thing at the wrong time is not good for our development. He builds us up from the inside out so that when we do experience increase we can manage it properly. We can be the stewards He predestined for us to be. Finally He does this so we can bring others to a relationship with Him because we stand as living testaments that He is a God who redeems.
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. So let that be your aim. Instead of constantly worrying or wondering when you’re going to level up next, ask yourself “How can I walk with integrity today?” “How can I lean deeper into this process?
Comment below: What good thing do you feel like God is withholding from you? How has this blog post shifted your perspective?
Want to hear more about my financial journey? Listen to this episode of the Black Girls with Purpose podcast.