There is something special about your first born or so I’ve been told. As a first born myself and the child of two firstborn children, naturally I’ve got lots and lots of experience in this area and the silly part in me says your first born will always be your favorite because in those initial moments where you hold them in your arms you wonder how you ever did life without them. How life outside of this little person ever existed. As my mom described many times throughout my pregnancy, you look at this child and wonder how your heart can exist outside of your chest.
But lo and behold, time passes and despite your sincere doubt that you could ever feel another love like this you become pregnant, give birth again and discover that equal love for your second born child can in fact exist. This sensation is what I experienced after giving birth to Jaden.
If you’re new to this brand and recently introduced to me, you should know I had no intentions of getting pregnant. I spent many a day and night wondering exactly what God was doing and admittedly I had my doubts that being a mom could fulfill me more than I was already being fulfilled daily.
I thought to myself, there is no way I can love the season to come more than the season that I’m already in. There’s no way my love of being a wife and the mother of a book, one I nurtured and cared for and taught its first steps, could be surpassed by a little human who would need me as their food and comfort and sustenance but then this happened…
and I realized how completely wrong I was. Not just about J but about the season he would be born into. I didn’t know that it would come with a new church family, with an opportunity to expand and extend Black Girls with Purpose’s reach. I was limited by what I could see. And now I look at him and think, how could I ever doubt that I would love this little being? He literally makes me smile just by existing!
Scripture says in Isaiah 43:19a, “Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming.”
When I first read it, I looked at it as “forget the things you’ve done in your past that your ashamed of or those things that are hard to forget.” But upon further reading, I saw that in verses 17 and 18 God spoke of the great deliverance He’d given to the Israelites. This meant He wasn’t saying, “forget all the bad things that have happened”, He was saying – “If you think you’ve seen me work before, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
Isn’t that fantastic? To know that our best days have not even been lived yet? And at the same time it’s terrifying because we look at all the things our “first born” has accomplished and doubt anything could surpass it.
I challenge you to let God rise to the occasion. To come before Him and say, “I know you’ve done great things in my life but I believe you are a God who can do “exceedingly and abundantly above I could ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20). Open up yourself to the possibility that you have not yet been utilized to your full capacity and I believe you will have the boldness required to constantly birth new things.
Comment below with a time you had to develop courage and embrace something new! How did it turn out for you?
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